I can’t be the only one who finds the airplane seat shuffle awkward. You’re finally drifting off when the stranger in the window seat needs the bathroom. Or worse, you’re trapped in the middle, calculating how much longer you can hold it because you don’t want to wake the person next to you. And on a long-haul flights, these discomforts are a given.

When booking flights as a couple, it’s not just about sitting together – it’s about positioning yourselves so both of you have freedom of movement without relying on strangers. On a 10+ hour flight, you’ll make 2-4 bathroom trips, need to stretch, and want to access your overhead bag. You shouldn’t feel trapped or guilty doing any of it.

As Australians, my partner and I are very familiar with long-haul flights (we just live so far from the rest of the world). Through trial and error, we’ve figured out the best seat combinations. I’ve broken them down by aircraft configuration to make choosing your seats easier.

The best row for long haul flights

Choosing the best seats starts with choosing the right row. Here’s what I’ve learnt works best.

Avoid rows near the galley and bathrooms – these areas get loud with passengers chatting while waiting for the bathroom and flight attendants preparing meals or talking between services. The light spilling out can also be annoying (though an eye mask can solve that easily enough).

My go-to strategy is picking a row in the middle of the cabin. You’ll have fewer people walking past since passengers behind you use the rear toilets while those in front head forward. Plus, you’ll have bathroom options in both directions, and the extra walk is actually good for circulation on long flights.

On short-haul flights where I’m not planning to sleep, I’ll sit closer to the front to get off faster. I find long-haul different – after 11 hours in your seat, those extra 10 minutes to get off don’t really matter.

Keep this middle-cabin positioning in mind as I go through the best seat selections for couples.

The best seats for couples

I’ve broken this down into the typical seat configurations you’ll find on long haul flights:

2-4-2 (Airbus A330, Airbus A380, Boeing 787)

This is the best configuration for couples because you can choose seats on either the left or right side of the plane with no one else in your row. This is the most privacy you can get in economy.

Just know that airlines often charge extra for these window pairs. The time my partner and I flew an A330 with Asiana Airlines, we weren’t willing to pay the extra fee, so we booked two middle seats instead.

So, in a 2-4-2 layout with seats AB-CDEF-GH, the ideal seats are A+B or G+H. However, if you’re on a budget, C+D or E+F in the middle section are your next best options, where one person gets the aisle while the other has just one neighbour.

3-3-3 (e.g. Boeing 787, Boeing 777, Airbus A350)

In a 3-3-3 layout with seats ABC-DEF-GHI, I recommend choosing either D+E or E+F in the middle section. With D+E, one person gets the aisle (D) while the other (E) has just one neighbour. With E+F, it’s the reverse – one person is in the middle with one neighbour, while the other has direct aisle access (F).

The key advantage is that one of you has direct aisle access while the other only needs to climb over their partner. This means you can get up for bathroom breaks, stretch your legs, or grab something from the overhead bin without coordinating with strangers and feeling guilty about waking them up.

We personally don’t have a strong preference between D+E and E+F – it really just comes down to which side of the plane you prefer and availability. Just make sure one of you is positioned in the aisle seat.

3-4-3 (Boeing 777, Airbus A380)

In a 3-4-3 layout with seats ABC-DEFG-HJK, go for D+E or F+G in the middle section.

This configuration is slightly wider than the 3-3-3, but the strategy remains the same – position yourselves so one person has aisle access. With D+E, the person in D gets the aisle, and with F+G, it’s the person in G.

The middle section on these planes can feel a bit more cramped since you’re sandwiched between more people, but having that guaranteed aisle seat makes all the difference. You’re not dependent on a stranger, and one of you can move freely throughout the flight.

How to check your flight configuration

If you’re unsure which configuration your flight will have, your airline’s website will show you the seat map when you’re booking. But if you want to do research beforehand or compare different flights, I recommend seatmaps.com. Enter an airline and/or flight number, and you’ll see the plane’s exact layout. This is super helpful if you’re deciding between different flight options.

The middle seat hack (and why I’d never do it)

You’ve probably heard about this hack – couples book a window and aisle seat in a three-seat row, hoping the middle seat stays empty. If it does, you’ve got a private row to yourselves.
The idea is that if someone does get assigned the middle seat, you can politely ask them to switch so you can sit together. This is where I have a problem with this ‘hack.’

In this situation, one of two things will happen: the person might refuse to move (which is totally fair – they booked their seat too), or even if they do agree to switch, you’re still going to be bothering them or being bothered by them throughout the flight.

For me, the biggest issue is the uncertainty. The thought of having a stranger sitting between my partner and me for 10+ hours just doesn’t appeal to me.

I’d much rather have the guaranteed setup where one of us has direct aisle access and we’re sitting next to each other. No awkward negotiations with strangers, no disappointment when that middle seat gets assigned, and no spending half the flight leaning around someone to talk to my partner.